Every time I try to hide flaws, I fail.
And by fail, I mean learn. Failure is not the end, it is only the beginning of something new…so I’ve learned in 18 years of living my life.
I stopped writing this blog because I was embarrassed. I would read over my comments, from two or so years ago and didn’t want to revisit those posts again.
I have taken up new endeavours since then, started a new project (stay tuned…), finished a second season on Backstage (that is out on US Netflix BTW and Family Channel in Canada this November!!!!), graduated high school (YAY!) and am realizing that running away from vulnerability has brought me right back to where I started. Here. Writing this blog.
In this past year, I have learned that the most important thing is to BE vulnerable. Whatever makes you feel embarrassed, or you feel a resistance towards (which is very different than a gut feeling about what is right or wrong for you) are the very things that make you human and in a way, special. That vulnerability makes others look up and notice you and see you for what you really are.
We connect through vulnerability, it is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves.
I had always been embarrassed about being myself… I’d tense up in social situations or feel the need to change because I feared what people thought. At the same time, I have always been a very confident person with a strong sense of who I am (and who I am NOT). In moments of vulnerability, I had resisted the urge to step up and be myself…
The very thing that makes you feel embarrassed is the very thing you need to do and face every day.
There’s a saying that goes, “What we resist, persists...” And it is true for being our selves.
Being yourself is brave.
It is easy to be like everyone else. It is hard to be yourself.
Think about those contestants we see, up on that stage, in talent shows on TV or even in your own school. They are being completely vulnerable up there. Sometimes they succeed (or win), sometimes they fail (or lose). But the most important thing was that they were up there. Being themselves for everyone to see…
being yourself does not guarantee success in the outside world all the time, but you can guarantee it gives you inner success, happiness, with yourself.
Be more of YOU. Who ever and whatever that is. It is not easy, but it is worth it!
I am choosing to be true to myself, even though the outer world doesn’t always reciprocate back to me in a positive way when I make that choice. I am open to learning, but I am not willing to give up who I am for short term outer rewards, that in the long term mean nothing to my self worth.
No matter what….we are ALL faced with challenges. We all fail, and have the potential to learn, grow and be happy with ourselves. But that doesn’t happen before we step into our “embarrassment zone.”
Before I performed my dance routine I would tell myself “There’s no hiding on stage.” Going on stage was just what I needed to step into my “embarrassment zone” and it was where I felt the most alive (the thought of it was much scarier than actually doing it!) We can not only think of an actual stage as the place to be our most vulnerable selves, but can think of life as a stage as well. Providing us the opportunity to step into our own, every moment of everyday.
Push yourself, put in the effort and know that being yourself is the best choice you could ever make!
Step into that vulnerability, use your “voice”, and allow learning, sometimes thought of as failure, to guide the way; it is all a part of living!
Have an awesome Thursday,